Mating in captivity esther perel summary5/18/2023 ![]() ![]() Which is fine if frequent and exciting penis-in-vagina sex is the only goal of your long-term relationship, but if you value a sense of closeness and security over sex, then this book will not be helpful. Her solution to this is of course to do some experimentation, but also to distance yourself from your long-term partner so that the sex feels new again. Perel thinks this is because sex thrives on a sense of novelty and exploration and even danger, and after you've been with someone for a long time, the novelty wears off. The premise of the book is that it can be hard to keep sex exciting in a long-term relationship. In Mating in Captivity (2006), Esther Perel draws on observations made during her decades of experience as a practicing psychotherapist. ![]() Perel thinks that sex is more important than any other aspect of a relationship, and so it's okay to sacrifice other things that are great about a relationship - including a sense of safety and security - to make sure that there's lots of sex. Perel never addresses the fact that some people just don't want to have sex all that often and that's okay. The unstated and unexamined assumption behind this book is that the only way for a long-term relationship to be healthy is if there is a lot of sex. ![]()
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